Beleagured with intangible intricacies of blooming love hate relationships in depth and in volumes for few years I have procured a recipe from culinary base of my cranium and its working on and off , sometimes for me sometimes for rest of my x-world :)
Overtly, my first fling that dates back to 2002 was a serious one and I have been devastated by deliquescence it was subjected to and I hated it . I fell ill/ill fated/into illusion . Yeah I was naive from these play games . It was a fate and I wasn't cribbing . Infact the kid in me had declared a serious warfare against my fate which I cherish now that went well for the girl which proves latter in my opening line .
I underwent drinking in dark , my favorite phrase but the worst phase which I relate to now . Did not witness any sunrise, did not had a heart to see sunshine and did not bother to see sunset . The best of pinkish sun set shine I missed purposely . I was broken and wanted to get better by my own. I wanted to break free from the protocols of this world and go back to time where there weren't society weathered callous graves which I need to pay homage to .Drinking I don't necessary relate to boozing but something one tends to fall back upon when traumatized . I can call talking to Kan/Nod/Abhi/Adi as drinking for that matter . They were supporting me and making me feel good. Fortunately I had so many drinks :P to count in the form of friends who actually overshadowed betrayl over affection . This helps getting a life ...I guess from here on I cultivated this habit of full order repeat :) in pubs I enjoy .
I was a kid who had had just lost his love . No matter what who says that goes , the bygone always persisted in illusion . And this illusion illustrated itself into wallow in wail. Yeah after the dringking in dark , next phase post break up definitely reaches out loud in the form of taking pleasure in sadness .I kept thinking of her , at my home , in Blore , in Pune and no matter what story I have been told but to my illusion it was standing straight befriending me with the fact ...true love never dies ,which actually never did . It curtailed few emotions though on which I will come later . Talking about wallow in wail...it all starts with mesmerizing beautiful moments , recounting memorable ones zillon times a day , smiling alone whilst dreaming about her/him...and surprisingly one tends to analyse each and every single move , every expression, every word and every sense panorama has got . Its a phase of analysis , a phase of knowing each other more , ironically sitting alone and thinking gives you all the answers which you may have not idolised or reacted to or observed in relationship . A phase where you care for not being love of life but in terms of gestures more of humane. I remember C fell ill when she herself decided to call it off . I never gave it a thought unless I took pleasure in reminscing her mood swings recalling this one in the form ...how beautiful she was looking even she wasnt well that day.But something stupid I made my way with that moment was ...she was not well and I was shouting ...how mean was I . I should have have taken a mature way to make her feel better . These things doesnt come instaneously but time bless you with such a thinking , and as Murpheys law states , this happens only when things go out of hand .
Well , feel flirt the third and last lable under this banner makes you really smart . You gear up with the best of pick up accent assimilate a lot tricks about bonding at lightening pace and hit it . And as I was talking about curtailment of few emotions ...you actually observe that the very emotion that has made you feel so brilliant in the first one you ever hadhas gone . And that proves ...why u always cherish your first kiss, first hug and so on ...I dont know I never felt the same warmth I had while holding hand . I now feel as if I am holding a stick to make the stick cross road for formality :) .I dont see my hands sweat holding a rose anymore...I dont even remember whether I held any in last few years though. I dont run now if am late . Doesn't mean I didnt get any but the first fling actually makes you a man. I was Raymonds man by the mid of 2004 and ever since I had been splendid in bonding market , quite bullish :) .
I could hardly make any speeches but fond of being called Love Guru. I just presume life full of rough patches is good to grow . It makes you mature , makes you rationale towards relationship and your very own ambitions . It takes a lot of time coping with lathargy injected in you with those bye bye ...bye gones ...but I will suggest to keep your brain not on rest for something you had lost control of ...instead get going for all other million reasons to smile .
Please read the topic once again(thats the concluding line) [:)] .
