I was wondering, rather I was brutally observing the essence of togetherness, the elements of life that bind the two human. The elements of life that connect each and every individual on the face of this planet directly or way too much indirectly, but one thing is sure…everyone is related by blood or by feelings.
Life is in the most beautiful form is with the person whom you love most. It can be parents when you are young, it can be lover/beloved when you are adult and it can be your kids when you were ageing . My prime concern delegated in these few lines would be the causes that ruin the relationship with loved ones. It is a sinking feeling and everyone hates it . It is painful phase and a very gradual heal…unfortunately it is the only healing process no one wish to get through and revive till they actually does. It is a four way hysterical cold war , a part of it is constant struggle between mind and heart and the rhetorical pretext from the other half of relationship.
In my observation, I found judging one prematurely tends a person to carve out mistakes out of normal gestures by the other. An incomplete understanding of the backdrop of situation/intent/objective can make the best of moment life could offer into the most miserable phase of togetherness. Trust is a the biggest reward among mankind and takes a lot of time to ripe. Your judgment can go wrong but other person might never had intended to break the trust. Wait for the long haul.Judge very carefully.
Open to feedback, prominent cause of glitches between the two. It has often been noticed that the generic feedback by one person is not been taken very well, and almost all those often times the counter reply was an attack on the first person’s personal habit or action. This very much likely causes rift between the two. Both the person in relationship must attribute to their openness to the feedback. After all , this is the only way you understand thought spinning in other person’s mind. It is a rational demand for any relationship to work in positive direction. Closely on the same ground, in a situation where unintentional goof-up splashes the ground, both the person should work as a team to undo the mess than finger pointing the responsible out of tiny mini unwanted dire straits of life .
For any relationship to nurture , brood and breath to bliss both the people involved should have clarity on the expectation with the other . It is highly desirable to fulfill the expectation of other. It helps from initial stage where relation broods… it helps both the person be aware of extent of their desirability and worth in other person’s life. In a run, when relationship nurtures…it helps both the person be aware of wants and demands of partner. It can bring spice, it can bring pleasant surprises, most importantly it relieves mind from fast pumping of heart and nervous mind… it removes the element of uncertainty from the relationship only giving positive outflow of a sound mind and heart …the conducive ambiance for love to breath.
In the failing sequence of relationship that closely work with the above mentioned negativity is the demand to make and feel special. It has been widely seen that the two special people just cant get enough of value from each other and in demand of seeking and feeling more special … sometimes place explicit demand to be felt special. Sometimes one of the two plot a fake story to acquire that attention . The contention of forced kind never and would never lead a relationship to any level. It is morally logical to respect and expect equal . The love would always find its way , out of its regular way to surprise and delight the two mates meant to be together. Constant endeavor of one side of efforts to make the other person feel special only makes the doer feel used and receiver to take former granted. It is ethically wrong.
For any goof up and the time of life when high tide of misunderstandings really swept the peaceful shore off the hook, the ego ruins years and life that could have been boon and bed of roses for the two mates in love. The ego holds your feelings back . No matter how strong the desire to hug urges, ego restricts human mind with a question 'why the fucking me' . Remember, relationship of any kind is always team work and never one against the other. The two meant to be together should always have this keen-ness of being an integral part of the other. Eventually being in relationship every person changes to align themselves with the wants of other. In this transition there are selfless happiness and there are unwanted bitterness . But the transition made well defines the intensity of togetherness.
And sometimes jealousy screws the real deal. Jealousy and possessiveness the two vital part of every relationship are only the positive indicators but very often misunderstood. Telling sheer love and desire. Sometimes it is not taken well…sometimes it is not done well either. I would suggest that there are ways to deal with it . Rather than retaliating take it positive and deal with the person having these feelings with affection. These feelings only erupt at the time when your share of affection goes somewhere else and was expected somewhere else.
In the end folks, I would only advice, willingness to be together is the world’s most intense feeling and no matter what works for you or not... the said intent to live a life with someone does always find its way . Life is full of ups and downs and words in argument change with mood and situation. Follow your heart and don’t hold back your feelings. Goof ups , crisis, external intervention, scarcity of resources will always come and go…but your soul mate might be the only one. Love freely and passionately. There is no better feeling than holding your lovers hand …the way it slips down to bind into fist of the other …with utmost ease and mostly by itself…relationship should be somewhat at similar ease only to brood love and grow...the depth of a relationship is not only in good expressions but more in the intensity to fight against the odds and willingness to be together.
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